Palpable Calm

For the first time in a few months, the constant hum in my head stopped if for only a brief moment and I had a smile on my face and silence in my thoughts.  My brother, Brian, came down for a visit and to be at my house while I had a new concrete patio poured.  When I’m with Brian, the feeling that my Dad is there and all is right in the world is almost palpable.  My brother is so much like Dad even in the slightest ways.  For instance, they both put their wallets/phones/change on the countertop in the corner by the mail basket.  It’s funny and weird all at the same time.  Being with Brian gives me the same sense of security, ease and contentment that a day with Dad would bring to me. 

We can talk and reminisce about Dad and it doesn’t quite make my heart break because we’re together.   It’s sort of fun to bring up memories and giggle. 

On this visit in particular, I was having a concrete patio poured so I can set Dad’s hot tub on it.  Brian and I cracked up because Dad would’ve totally been in his element being in my backyard overseeing the guys and the process!  We both commented on how Dad would’ve been outside bullshitting with the best of them about anything and everything.  In addition, Chris, the owner of the concrete company, fell in love w/ my Dad’s Jeep, which is now Brian’s car.  Chris couldn’t stop commenting on it.  One thing you must know, Dad loved his cars.  The faster the better!  While eating lunch, Brian and I chuckled thinking about it and commented on how Dad probably would’ve started the Jeep up for Chris to hear the roar of the engine.  Almost simultaneously, Brian and I said, “WAIT - Dad would’ve driven him around the block in it and done a burn out!!”

I live for these brief escapes from my new normal.   

Here's to Dad and the new patio..I know he'd love it and I can picture us relaxing and grilling out on it in my head!  <3 you!!

Dad and Zachary at a Columbus Clippers Game 2010

New Patio and Sidney roaming