Bittersweet

It’s been about a month since my last post.  No worries, I’m still alive and kicking.  March turned out to be a dark and stormy month for me.  The 13^th marked the 6 month anniversary of my Dad passing away.  One thing replayed over and over in my head – it’s been 6 months of life without Dad, half a year without my Dad.  How?  Why?  Flashing through my mind as if on a continuous rinse and repeat cycle, all the things I hadn’t done with him in half a year, all the things I miss so dearly that my heart aches. 

I consider myself to be a smart individual but trying to wrap my arms around the concept of a life without my Dad in it is by far the most confusing, illogical thing I’ve ever had to consider.  How did 6 months pass?  Can everyone else see the weights on my feet trapping me in time?  I see days passing me by, I watch the clock progress, I see the season change but believe me when I say I am stuck on September 13, 2011.  At this very moment in time, I’m defined by that day.