Innaugural Post!

Well, here goes...my first blog post!  It's been almost 4 months since my Dad passed away.  I can't believe it.  The last 4 months have been a complete blur to me.  I'm walking around in what I've heard is called the "grief haze."  It seems like I'm constantly lost in a recurring cycle of sadness, memories, nightmares and then the realization that this is my new normal - a world without my Dad.  How did this happen?  Why did this happen?  While sitting in line at the car wash, I starting thinking, "I'm this girl now - without her Dad, her protector, her hero."  I dont' get it.  It's so surreal to me.  The fact that I'm only 35 and still have so many things I want to do with him is never far from my mind.  Two things that immediately come to mind are he won't be there to walk me down the aisle if I get married and he won't be there to meet his grandchild if I have a baby.  Thanks grief - thanks for making me sad for events that aren't even on the horizon for me at the moment...as if I don't have enough to worry about with just the present day.  Losing my Dad...SUCKS!
I promise there will be fun, upbeat posts sprinkled in here along with the sad ones.  :)  The journey begins...